2010!!

Happy New Year- 7 days late!

Ah, it's so refreshing to start new. I love new years, new mornings, new beginnings, new possibilities.

I normally make new years resolutions and then break them 3 days later. Not that I mean to, but life gets busy and I get lazy. However, this year I've been really thinking about how I wanted to bring in the new year and I think I got it. I don't want to have resolutions this year. I don't want to set myself up for failure. Instead, I want to have goals. I want to be able to say on December 31, 2010 that I met my goals not that I broke my resolutions 3 days into the new year. I know that I won't be able to exercise everyday or read my bible everyday or whatever my resolution might be, but I know that I can get things accomplished in a year by slowly working away at them.

I only have two goals in mind for 2010 (more of what I feel God is leading me to do in 2010 in a minute). The two goals that I have this year are: read the whole bible and lose my baby pooch.

Besides having those two goals this year I've really felt like God was telling me that this year is going to be a year of healing. Last year wasn't the greatest year for me. I enjoyed some aspects of it, like having Josiah, but as a whole I'm glad to have 2009 gone and 2010 to look forward too.

In 2009, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and I'm glad that I was. That may sound funny, but it's made me realize that I was depressed long before I ever had Josiah. Since I've started my medication I have begun to feel like myself again and I don't think that I would have realized I was depressed on my own.

Now that I'm on medication and feeling like myself again I've come to see that I haven't felt like this in a long time (probably a good year or more). It's also opened my eyes to see that I pushed a lot of people away. Looking back now I can see that I pushed away things that were going good in my life because I couldn't control the bad I was facing.

This year, no more. I feel I'm on a path of healing. I want to heal from depression. I want to heal my relationships. I want to heal my spiritual life. I want to heal.

So I'm on my path to healing and with God's help I'll be me again in 2010.